


And You

by puppyfacedbrokenboys



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Coda, Goodbyes, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 22:30:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5843401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puppyfacedbrokenboys/pseuds/puppyfacedbrokenboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ‘goodbye’ Jude and Connor deserves.</p><p>a coda of sorts to 3x11 of The Fosters</p>
            </blockquote>





	And You

**Author's Note:**

> This mainly stems from my disappointment that we didn't get at least a hug in their "goodbye" scene, and that Connor didn't say he'd come back _to see Jude_... so I made it happen.

Connor’s waiting on a bench overlooking the water outside the school when Jude starts his walk home. Jude’s eyes are drawn to him like a magnet, and he can’t stop his heart from fluttering in his chest as he makes his way over.

Has Connor changed his mind? A wave of hope crashes over Jude at the thought, but it’s quickly dashed when Connor looks up at him when he hears Jude’s shoes crunch over the sand-swept sidewalk and rounds to the front of the bench.

He smiles sadly at Jude, then reaches up to grab Jude’s hand and lightly tugs at it. It’s a silent question: _please sit down?_

Jude chews on his lip for a moment, eyeing the way Connor’s thumb moves across the back of his hand. Then he drops his bag to his feet and sits down next to Connor. He’s still silent, but he readjusts their grip to entwine their fingers better.

He looks at Connor out of the corner of his eye and waits for the boy to speak. He hates this. He hates that he feels like he’s losing Connor. He hates that he’s losing his boyfriend, his first love. More than that, he hates that he’s losing the first person he’s ever felt close enough to call a best friend. And he hates that he’s starting to be okay with the sadness again of always _losing_.

Soon Connor’s turning towards him, and it isn’t until he’s brushing the tears away from Jude's eyes with his thumbs that Jude realizes he’s started to cry again. He gives a soft sniff and closes his eyes, tilting his face away from Connor as his gut forms a knot.

He’s being selfish. He’s worrying about how he feels and not about how Connor feels. Connor, who is leaving (even though he doesn’t want to) to get away from his father, whom doesn’t accept him. Connor, who is leaving his whole life behind to try to get out.

Connor, who’s as devastated as he is.

Connor, who’s now wrapping his fingers tentatively around Jude’s neck and leaning towards him, his breath tickling Jude’s face as he waits. Another silent question of: _can I?_

Jude answers by leaning into him, letting his lips brush against his. The kiss is gentle, always gentle and kind; but this time it’s wet from Jude’s tears now mingling with Connor’s own.

“I should’ve done this earlier,” Connor breathes when they break apart, still cradling Jude’s neck in his hands. “It’s why I waited for you.”

The way Connor’s eyes shine with tears and the sadness clouding them, it makes Jude shake his head slightly. “I’m sorry,” he admits softly, something he’s been battling with all day. He takes in Connor’s tiny look of confusion. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I’m proud of you. Even though… I don’t want you to go, I need you to know that I’m okay with this. I understand why you need to do this.”

Something in Connor must have needed to hear that—the reassurance that he was doing the right thing. His whole body sags and his hands drop down to Jude’s playing with his shirt and he squeezes.

He smiles at Jude and Jude returns the favor of wiping away a stray tear from his face. When Jude’s hand returns to Connor’s and he squeezes back, both boys laugh softly. It’s all they can do with the impending weight of being separated.

They fall into a silence after that, both looking at their hands and letting the soft laps of the waves fill the air between them.

“And you,” Connor breaks the silence. It’s soft and for a moment Jude wasn’t sure if he had heard him or not.

“What?”

Connor’s gaze meets Jude's. “Something else I meant to say earlier. When I said I’d be back to see my dad. I meant to say ‘and _you_ ’. I didn’t realize I didn’t say it until you left.” He squeezes Jude’s hands. “I’ll be back in a month to see _you_.”

Jude gives him another small smile, but this time it reaches his eyes. He releases Connor’s hands in favor of wrapping him in a hug and pulling the other boy flush against his chest.

When Connor’s own arms wrap around Jude’s back and Jude’s neck is pressed to Connor’s neck, a voice behind them says: “Connor, I’m sorry, honey, but we need to hit the road or we won’t beat the LA traffic.” The voice is soft, only a gentle prodding. The boys break apart and turn towards the voice to find that it belongs to Connor’s mother.

“Hi, Ms. Stevens,” Jude greets with a polite smile, and Connor’s mother gives him a small nod. It may be from the salty-ocean air, but Jude thinks her eyes are a little wet too.

“You have three minutes,” she says finally before heading back to her car. It’s full of Connor’s things, complete with a bike strapped to the top.

“I guess you better get going,” Jude says with a sigh and manages to disentangle himself from Connor to stand up. He's not standing for very long before Connor touches his hand again. There’s no tug this time; just Connor not wanting him to leave yet. Jude shakes his head, tugs on his hand and pulls Connor up to his full height. His gives Connor a smile that’s more hopeful. 

“It’s not like we’re not going to see each other again.” Jude swings their arms between them, and delights in making Connor smile too. “We’ll text and Skype and play video games online. We’ll do our homework together and I’ll stay online until you fall asleep, okay?”

Connor nods and pulls Jude to him in a stronger hug, and they stand there for what feels like forever. Connor’s mom has to honk at them to let go.

“I love you,” Connor whispers into Jude’s neck. Jude squeezes him closer.

“I love you, too.” Jude brushes his lips against Connor’s one last time. He steps back and returns his bag to his shoulder. “C’mon, I’ll walk you to the car.”

They walk to the car hand and hand, and Jude waves as Connor drives away with his mom.

Connor sticks his head out of the window and yells, “See you later!”

Jude shakes his head and smiles to himself. It’s fitting, though. Goodbye is a finality; an end.

This is not an end. It’s the opportunity for a new beginning.


End file.
